January 2012
December 2011
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New Year Goals/Resolutions:
Stay single for an entire year - enjoy it
Begin selling clothes online
Less judgement, less gossip
All clothing purchases will be bought used
Daily meditation
Make the effort to call people and don’t feel bad about it
Less, “I’m sorry’s”
Stop creating my own anxiety
Develop a routine - zero procrastination
More “outdoorsy”
Less nonfiction, more...
““I see no end of it, but the turning
upside down of the entire world”
-...”
– Diane di Prima, Rant, from a Cool Place
Something Bright, Then Holes | Maggie Nelson
I used to do this, the self I was used to do this the selves I no longer am nor understand. Something bright, then holes is how a girl, newly-sighted, once described a hand. I reread your letters, and remember correctly: you wanted to eat through me. Then fall asleep with your tongue against an organ, quiet enough to hear it kick. Learn everything there is to know about loving someone then walk...
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…Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the...
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Unrequited love is the ultimate debasement so I gave it up.
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i)
We are hard on each other and call it honesty, choosing our jagged truths with care and aiming them across the neutral table.
The things we say are true; it is our crooked aims, our choices turn them criminal.
ii)
Of course your lies are more amusing: you make them new each time.
Your truths, painful and boring repeat themselves over & over perhaps because you own so few of them
...
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(…) ]and yes I ]as long as there is in me ]will be a care ]I say I have been a strong lover ] ]painful
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…Every day I write you a letter and drop it into the postbox at the corner. Last week, each envelope pasted with Christmas stamps. Before that, a book of Queen Elizabeth II. I am an unsigned page, resisting the pen. Your fingerprints mark me. From our house on the moon, we live airless, but breathe into each other’s mouth at regular intervals. I am trying to keep from falling a part.
...
